I should just go to bed

How do I get people to read my blog?
NO
How do I get people who read my blog to comment on my shit?
YOU GUYS NEED TO COMMENT ON MY SHIT AND MAKE MY BLOG A SENSATION SO THAT I CAN GET FREE SHIT, OKAY. This is like, a pyramid scheme, but it could really work. because for some reason bloggers get free shit these days. I don't fucking know. just fucking comment on my shit, okay? it's late, so I can't post anything fucking thought provoking tonight. but I'll do it tomorrow. maybe I'll do it from school, when I should be last-minute reading shit that I had all day to read today. wooooo.
FUCK YOU.

Is this working? like uh, when they say girls only like guys who are dicks? you like me being a dick? am I effectively berating you into commenting on my shit?
THERE ARE A FUCKLOAD OF QUESTIONS IN THIS POST, YO. answer them bitches.